Don Miguel Ruiz’s book The Four Agreements is a book that tells about four simple but effective agreements to make life happier and simpler. This book is based on ancient Toltec knowledge and tells how we can free ourselves from suffering, fear and confusion by changing our thinking and behavior. If you also want to find true peace, happiness and self-respect in your life, then the things in this book can be very helpful for you.

Main characters and their roles

• Miguel Ruiz: Writer and guide who guides readers on the path of these agreements. He tells us through his experiences and knowledge how we can bring about change in our lives.
• The Judge: The part of us that judges us and others all the time, decides what is right and what is wrong. It influences our habits, decisions and emotions.
• The Victim: This is our inner voice that makes us feel weak and guilty. Whenever we make a mistake or fail, the Victim repeatedly reminds us that we are not good enough.
• The Smokey Mirror: This is a symbol that tells us that the real truth is blurred and we have difficulty recognizing ourselves. Our perceptions and old beliefs make this mirror even more blurred.

The Four Agreements Summary

Every human being molds himself according to the rules and beliefs of the society since childhood. The author calls this ‘Domestication of Humans’. Whatever we believe comes from what others say and the rules made by the society. Parents, teachers, friends and society tell us what is right and what is wrong. Gradually we give birth to a Judge and a Victim within ourselves. The Judge blames us for every mistake and the Victim makes us feel helpless and sad.

Don Miguel Ruiz says that it is necessary to change these old, useless agreements. If we want true freedom and happiness in our lives, then we have to change our old beliefs and thinking. For this, he talks about four new agreements, which can change our lives.

1. Be Impeccable with Your Word

Use your words wisely and truthfully. Don’t speak ill of anyone, nor say bad things about yourself. Words have great power, they can spread love as well as hate. If you use your words correctly, your relationships will be strong and you will be happy with yourself.

Many times we say such words in anger or resentment, whose effect lasts for years. A small comment can break someone’s confidence. Similarly, if we think or speak badly about ourselves, our self-esteem weakens. That is why, the author advises to always be honest and clear with your words. As much as possible, praise others, encourage yourself and stay away from negativity.

2. Don’t take anything personally

Whatever other people say or do is the result of their own experiences, thoughts and problems. If someone criticizes you or speaks ill of you, it is their own problem, not yours. When you stop taking things personally, you will feel less sad and you will feel lighter.

Often we take what others say to heart. If someone says something bad, we keep thinking about it all day. But the truth is that the other person reacts based on his problems, his fears and his experiences. If you understand that everyone has their own story, then you will not bother yourself unnecessarily. By adopting this agreement, you can protect yourself from the negativity of others.

3. Don’t Make Assumptions

Often we assume that others or a situation will be like this without asking or understanding. This leads to misunderstandings and conflicts. If you don’t understand something, ask clearly. Talk openly. This will improve relationships and keep your mind at peace.

Suppose, if a friend of yours does not call you, you may think that he is angry with you. But in reality, he may be busy or in some trouble. If you assume that he is angry with you without asking, there may be distance in the relationship. Therefore, the author advises to always ask questions, talk and avoid accepting your assumptions as true.

4. Always Do Your Best

Try your best in every situation, whether it is big or small. Sometimes your best may be less, sometimes more, but if you always try your best, you will be proud of yourself and will not regret. This can help you get out of the grip of both Judge and Victim.

Many times we think that we could have done better, or blame ourselves for our failures. But if you give your best every time, you will not regret. By adopting this agreement, you can weaken the voice of the Judge and Victim and learn to forgive yourself.

Benefits of adopting these agreements

• You can come out of your old fear, anger and sadness.
• Misunderstandings in relationships will reduce and love will increase.
• Confidence in yourself will increase and self-esteem will be strengthened.
• You will get peace and happiness in life.
• You will learn to forgive yourself and others.
• Your thinking will be positive and you will learn to be happy in every situation.

Easy ways to adopt these agreements

• Promise yourself every morning that you will use your words correctly.
• Whenever someone criticizes you, take a deep breath and think that it is their problem, not yours.
• If you have any question in your mind about anything, ask the other person clearly.
• Try your best in every task, be it studies, work or small household chores.

The Four Agreements Ending Explained

Don Miguel Ruiz says that these four agreements are like a new beginning. To adopt them, you will have to practice daily, because old habits do not go away easily. But as you adopt these agreements, your thinking, behavior and life will start changing.

The voice of the Judge and the Victim will gradually diminish. You will learn to forgive and accept yourself. Most importantly, you will be able to make your life’s dreams come true and experience true happiness.

The Four Agreements teaches us how to make life light, true and happy. This book tells us that change is in our own hands. If we use our words correctly, do not take things to heart, do not make assumptions without thinking and always give our best, then we can live a new, happy and free life.

The lessons of this book are useful for every age, every situation. If you also want change in your life, then start adopting these four agreements from today itself. Believe me, a new light of happiness will definitely come into your life.

The Four Agreements is a small book, but its contents are very deep. Don Miguel Ruiz’s language is simple and the examples touch the heart directly. This book should be read by every person who wants to improve himself and find true freedom and happiness. If you too want to break free from the voice of the Judge and the Victim and make a new beginning, then adopt these four agreements and change your life. This is the real message of this book – change is in your own hands.

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